How a Cancer Diagnosis Changes a Family

Article submitted by the American Cancer Society.
For more information, they can be reached at 1-800-227-2345 or visit their website: www.cancer.org.

A diagnosis of cancer changes a family forever. Figuring out "what's for dinner" or "what your plans are for the weekend" is suddenly less important. Family and personal values are questioned and priorities are tested. Unsettled feelings and arguments may resurface during a family's struggle with cancer. Often a family must sort out and revisit old, unresolved feelings before they can start to battle cancer as a family.

Cancer can cause role changes in the family. The head of the household may now be more dependent on other family members. Others may need to work outside the home or work different hours to accommodate changes in the household. When family members take on new roles, the way they interact within the family can change. New responsibilities may overwhelm some family members.

While the patient may object to getting outside help, friends and family members should assess their own limitations and get outside help when necessary. Certified nursing assistants, home health aides, and other resources can help with the care of the patient. Local churches may be able to help with cooking, shopping, transportation, and general housekeeping. Professional services may also be helpful although there usually is a fee involved.

How a family handles cancer is greatly determined by how the family has dealt with crises in the past. Those who are used to communicating effectively and sharing feelings are usually able to discuss how cancer is affecting them. Families who solve their problems as individuals instead of a team might have greater difficulty coping with cancer.

Cancer treatment includes care for the patient and the family, not just the cancer. A mental health professional may already be a part of your cancer care team. If not, talk with your doctor or nurse to learn about additional resources that can help you cope with cancer in your family.

Some family members have said they have avoided the family member because they felt as if they had nothing to offer, didn't know how to act, or felt they could do nothing to help make the situation better. Family and friends can find ways to relieve their stress by participating in activities outside the home. Resources outside the home, such as individual counseling or support groups, can serve as outlets for the frustrations you are facing within your family.