Children of Aging Parents

Article submitted by Patricia Cornelius LPN, Wellness Director and CAPS Facilitator for Cordia Senior Residence.
For more information, she can be reached at 630-887-7000 (ext 114), or visit their website: www.Cordia.Biz, or caps4caregivers.org.

In 1900, only one out of four Americans lived beyond the age of 65. Today, the number is three out of four. This increased life expectancy has bought joy to many families, as grandparents - or even great-grandparents - now see the youngest members of their families grow to adulthood. It's a dream come true.

Some aspects of living longer, however, may not be quite as we imagined. Today's adults in their 40's and 50's represent the first generation who will be likely to spend more years helping their parents than taking care of their children. In nearly one out of four U.S. households, there is someone caring for an elderly relative or friend. Generally this involves helping the older person with a host of questions and choices ranging from medical care to living arrangements, to finance, and to judgments about whether we may need to intervene in our parent's lives. The financial costs and the responsibilities for physical care of a frail parent are not the only demands family members must face. Old issues of parent-child relationships may be rekindled, or dormant sibling rivalries may resurface. These emotional aspects of family relationships - and simply talking about the future - are often the most difficult hurdles to overcome.

Children of Aging Parents (CAPS) is a national organization providing information and resources on caregiver issues. The CAPS support group principles are:

• CAPS groups provide the opportunity for people involved in caring for elderly parents, relatives, spouses or friends to share their feelings and experience.
• CAPS groups provide a non-judgmental, caring, empathetic and accepting environment.
• CAPS groups foster supportive relationships among group members.
• CAPS groups utilize community resource people to plan informational meetings.
• CAPS groups recognize that caregivers will attend when they feel a need for support and sharing and may not come when their situations are more stable. As groups evolve, a lasting loyalty also develops.
• CAPS groups structure meetings to provide peer-problem-solving and discussions and good listening skills which, in turn, promote stability.
• CAPS groups can offer referral sources for professional help when asked.
• CAPS groups assure all participants absolute confidentiality.
• CAPS groups plan their agenda, topics and meeting with the facilitators help.